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...litora torquent per conubia nostra, Ever try to hit "Ctrl-Alt-Del" while holding a burrito? You can tell when a computer is running Windows because it has beans all over it. adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est...
...torquent per conubia nostra, Every time I listen to an Eminem song, Ice Cube stars in another family movie. arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie...
...adipiscing elit. Donec condimentum nibh Life is too short to speak in absolutes. pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra...
...ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing Compared to Christians, three-year-olds always have better questions about the laws of physics. a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor,...
...amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec The economic crisis is so bad, I can only afford to use a pretend gun in my mouth. laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin...
...magna. Class aptent taciti Ninjas are always shuriken their responsibilities. a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi nec mi. Praesent consectetuer adipiscing tellus....
...sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia I can't wait until Ping gets rolled out to my blender. You guys aren't going to believe how many smoothies we drink. It's bananas! ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac...
...nibh eget magna. Class aptent taciti Giant Spiders! Flame Beasts! Toaster Strudels! OH MY! a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi...
...magna. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad Email from Dell: "Don't miss your chance to win a Dell $10,000 IT makeover." adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed...
...taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent Ladies, don't worry if your labia is a little beat up, most guys will still hit it. Just call me Hamburger Helper. amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque...
...aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora I'm going out for dinner and beers with a bunch of truckers-to-be tomorrow night. I expect arm wrestling so I'll be bringing my orangutan. laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et...
...aptent taciti sociosqu ad It's 2010 and beds STILL don't have built in cup holders. Unbelievable. amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi nec mi. Praesent consectetuer adipiscing tellus. Fusce...
...magna. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad I thought factory labor wasn't as grindingly, soul-crushingly cruel as it was a century ago. That was before I visited a Cheesecake Factory. semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus....
...torquent per conubia nostra, per I'm not doing anything interesting right now. If you want to come over and blow on me with a straw, it's cool. ipsum, fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit...
...aptent taciti sociosqu ad I went to paint the town red, but by the third house, people started getting mad. fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse...
...sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing Gatorade contains electrolytes, so make sure not to drink it in the bathtub. et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum...
...condimentum nibh eget magna. Class aptent Yes, I will pay $5 for a bar of soap. I want to scrub my face with a chunk of unicorn crap. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse...
...consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec Thinking of opening a restaurant chain called "Dumpster's." The homeless market is virtually untapped. fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum,...
...aptent taciti sociosqu ad Just think: only a few short years ago, I'd've been "more snot than man" rather than a proud booger-American. amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque...
...aptent taciti sociosqu ad I couldn't tell the difference between the veggie burger and the beef hamburger. So I shot the one on the left. ipsum, fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet...
...ipsum dolor sit amet, My grandfathers fought in WWII and my Google Calendar just sent me a reminder that my cat's birthday is next week. pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse...
...Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad If there's one tattoo that tells you about myself, it's my 'Welcome to Narnia' tribal ink located on the inside of my sphincter. pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante....
...dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing Second day in hospital on IV antibiotics with nasty infection brought on/irritated by running shoes. So anyways, FUCK YOU EXERCISE. ipsum, fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet...
...nibh eget magna. Class aptent I think it's amazing that "shower head" rhymes with "alone." est ipsum, fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede...
...aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent We prefer calling homework "workhome," since the most important part should come first. semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi nec mi. Praesent consectetuer adipiscing tellus. Fusce eleifend aliquet purus. ...
...nibh eget magna. Class Oh, Dave Matthews Band bumper sticker on a Honda Civic, would that you had a mouth so you could tell your tales of mystery and adventure. semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida...
...Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora Whoever's making mountains out of molehills is an idiot because rocks work way better. laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor...
...Class aptent taciti sociosqu Eww, is that the smell of sulfur and brimstone!? Nope, I just farted in the tub. Oops! Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris...
...adipiscing elit. Donec condimentum nibh If I could have any super power, it'd be the ability to take a bath while teleporting. BATH BAMF! semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie...
...elit. Donec condimentum nibh Sadly, the only thing G about me is my mail. et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor,...
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